Thursday, November 27, 2008

Loss of Confidence

I have been off injured now for 5 weeks and it feels like forever. I have been on my skates skating, but no contact allowed. That means no blocking, no jamming, no checking, NO FUN!!!!!!! It really sucks, it was so hard to put my skates on again and get out there just to skate. I felt like a freshie again, scared of everyone around me and scared to really push myself incase I fell and hurt my knee all over again. I miss my girls, I miss being in the pack and blocking, I even miss jamming even though I'm not all that great at it! Before my injury, I felt like nothing could touch me, that I was invincible. I relished the thought of knocking my team mates on their asses and in turn being blocked on my ass. as one of my team mates was overheard saying "Is it wrong to love the feeling of your helmet sliding over the floor when you've been knocked on your ass?"
The up-shot of it all though is that Ive been able to learn the rules a bit more and will be getting all the refs up to speed with them. Ive been able to skate on the inside track and watch my girls and see where there could be any improvement and remind them to keep the chicken wings at bay!!! The down side is that I'm going to feel really guilty about my chicken wings and illegal moves because I should know better!!!!
My physio has been great, she has been massaging and ultrasounding me back to health and has been giving me really good exercises to follow - and I think she is coming round to the idea of being league physio!!!!! It should only be another week or two before I'm full contact again and I cant wait. Not looking forward to seeing how out of condition I am, but that will be another story....

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Clash of personalities???

Im feeling disembodied, I feel like im being taken over by another, more dominant force. My derby persona is encroaching more and more in my personal life and im getting more and more confused by the day.
My everyday clothing is being taken over by shorter skirts and stripier, more vibrant socks. My rugby shirts are being relegated to the back of the wardrobe in favour of all my different roller girl t-shirts. My sensible, comfy trainers are being relegated in favour of higher heels and platform soles. What is happening to me? Is my derby persona the real me thats always been afraid to venture forth or am I being taken over by an alter ego that was made for the track?
I have always known she has been there, lurking in the background, but I have always been able to control her - she only got out to play when I was drunk or feeling really slim and confident with myself. Now she is easier to 'let out of the box' and its getting harder and harder for me to put her away!
I feel I may be taken away in a straight jacket if I tell any of my non-derby friends how I feel, but in a way, im not all that concerned if she comes out to stay.
My other self is confident, sassy and not afraid to slap men on the ass and give a sly wink someones way! She is less likely to let people walk all over her, not afraid to tell people that enough is enough - your not taking advantage of me anymore! My boyfriend likes my other self - im sure of it!!!! He likes the way she takes control...........
Does anyone else feel this way about their derby alter ego? Surely im not the only one with a clash of personalities.......

On the derby front, im injured!!!! I fell whilst jamming and buggered my knee. Im off full contact scrimmage for a few weeks. The upside, im learning the rules as im playing at being ref. I dont want to learn the rules of course - because then I cant cheat and say I didnt know that I was doing wrong!!!!!
We are about to start with a new set of fresh meat - almost at full capacity! Yay! We are officially that one step closer to posting our bout front of real live people, joe public and all that jazz.
On a personal front, im posting less than regularly as my computer died on me. Gonna have to get a new one. I feel lost, jittery and out of touch without my laptop.
Never fear tho, I will endeavour to bring you my news and gossip and my ramblings!!!!

Sunday, October 12, 2008

New Skates!!!!

I got my new skates!!!!! Yay!!!!
I wore them all day when I got them, I couldn't stop looking at them! The wheels look massive compared to my old wheels and you can feel they are stickier just by running your hands over them! I cant wait to try them out! They look real pretty, I feel just like a kid on Christmas morning!
Its such a pity I didn't have them when we had our official photos taken, but its always the way. They came just afterwards and I had to wear someone elses skates. They were about 5 times to big for me, but at least I was in the photos!
All I can say is.......

Bashes and Bruises

Well scrimmaging is going from strength to strength, we are getting more competitive and more aggressive with our blocking. Still too many 'sorrys' and stopping to check that people are not injured when you knock them on to their asses, but we are definitely getting there. We have had two practises since we I last posted and I had to sit out for one of them as I was taken out by one of our gals in an awesome block, but I twisted on my way down and landed on my tailbone. Man that stings.......I didn't break it, but I couldn't sit down for a few days!!!!!
We split up into teams and Jam mostly all the time now, it takes a lot out of you to play for the full two minutes - particularly if you are the Jammer. We are finding the girls that are natural born Jammers and we are finding who are more comfortable in blocking positions and we have a good mixture of both. Personally I'm finding that I'm leaning towards blocker position, but I'm still waiting on my skates coming through. Who knows, I may be able to dodge and weave better on bigger, grippier wheels. I know I will be a damn site faster on them, so I will just have to wait and see. I did manage to get through the pack quite easily on one Jam, but I couldn't keep in front of the other teams Jammer due to me sliding out of bounds when I picked up speed. She ended up catching me and won more points for her team.
The hands and pushing thing is getting better, everyone is managing to control their speed and stopping within the pack and our girls are very vocal in pointing out if anyone illegally blocks.
When I was sitting out during the last practise, I had time to really watch the girls and boy do we look good as a league. We are really starting to look the part now, it was so exciting to watch. I cant wait to see us all in our team colours doing it for real!

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Wake-up Call

Its a long way to fall off that pedestal you build up in your mind. That image you have of yourself speeding around the track, crossing over in all the right places, dodging and weaving through holes in the pack looking like that hot, awesome derby gal in Blood and Thunder magazine........
Until you are in that pack, trying to dodge and weave but the blocker in front of you is really good and not getting out of the way. Yes, you are speeding around the track, but you haven't yet completely mastered the art of controlling your speed and you put your hands out on impulse and slam into the back of her - if we had a Ref and we were jamming for real - that would cost me some time in the penalty box and I might have cost my team the game. Reality sucks!!! A wounded ego sucks even more.
I have to practise more, my league needs to practise more (because there is quite a lot of us in the same boat) - but how can we if we don't have the extra time in the building we have at the moment. I HATE NETBALL AND BASKETBALL and all the prissy fucking sports that have really good floors to skate on but are afraid of their floor being ripped up by skates! I hate the council for demolishing all the roller rinks and leasing out the remaining ones to useless fucking companies that keep them empty and wont share!!!! Aaarggh!
Now that I have that rant out of the way and I have projected my anger towards something else, I can get on with my blog!
Its our first time at scrimmaging properly, playing by the rules and jam times and its a bit of a let down to realise your not as good as you think you are. I'm not only bruised physically. I really need to bury my head in the rules book and get to know my jam formations. I need to remember to keep my hands to myself and I need to find holes in the pack instead of thinking I can just barge my way through. I need to remember that if I'm Pivoting, I need to control the speed of the pack and not go speeding off chasing the jammer and causing the pack to speed up also. I need to realise that as a blocker, my job is to block other blockers and make way for my Jammer and not just focus on the opposing Jammmer. Its a lot to learn, its a whole different mentality from just skating round and round and concentrating on my own ability. I have to switch to pack mentality and team mentality - not me, myself and I.
I must say also, that I'm a bit nervous of going up against some of the other teams. Fuck, they have some good blockers - I know, I was on the receiving end of them at practise! We are going to have to start forming strategies amongst our own teams and holding back some of what we have from league practise. Don't want to show our colours too early, going to have to be devious now. Its going to be hard, cause I think our girls are awesome and I want to hang out with them and skate with them all. Its not going to be long before we are splitting the practises. I don't know how its going to work with the lack of space and time, but I'm sure that will be another story. For now, im going to take my frustration out on my boyfriend..............

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Old Meat

Doesn't sound all that hot, does it? We (the not-so-new-meat) are gonna have to stop calling ourselves that now. We are league members now, we have earned our place in the league and we deserve to be there. We have new fresh-meat now and we paid them an impromptu visit the other day, we gate-crashed their practise to see how they were doing and also to complete our skills test.
Its easy to forget that not too long ago we were there. Its amazing and encouraging to see just how far we have come in such a little time. I remember when we were all falling over in our skates - some of us could barely stand in them - and now look at us!!! We are blocking and jamming and bettering our 5-lap and 20-lap times every time we put our skates on, so come on the new fresh meat!!! We are all rooting for you, we will all be there to guide you and push you on to becoming bigger, faster, stronger, better - just as long as you don't become better than us!!!!
'Cause then we will have to beat you up...........

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Skills Test 101

Skater must have good skating posture - check
Must be able to bend at knees and hips with shoulders back - check
Must be able to swing arms fluidly - check
Have steady, confident strides and use both feet to push forward on the straightways - check.

Have a kick-ass attitude, CHECK!!!!!!

We are being skills tested at the moment. The coaches have had enough of skating round and round in circles practising T-Stops, snow ploughs etc. Not that its not important, believe me it is, but we want to scrimmage, we want to get in there and shoulder check, practise at playing Jammer, Pivot and Blocker and generally kick some derby ass!

Before we do, we need to prove that we are safe and confident on our skates and able to dodge/jump our way out of trouble or over our teammates if they fall. Safety should NEVER be under-estimated (or is that over-estimated?), look at what happened to Tequila Mockingbird.

So, skills test...... Everyone in our league is doing quite well in that area, we are pretty much all safe and able to tick the necessary boxes, just little niggly things to iron out. For example, I cant skate on one foot along the length of the straight way. I can pick up my foot if I need to avoid objects/heads etc and I can pick my foot up and skate on the other for part of the straight way, but I'm buggered if I can do it all the way! I put that down to my crappy skates and so do my coaches, so I'm not that concerned as yet. I can shoulder block, ass block and lean people out of bounds. I can fall small - a skill found out when a team mate blind sided me and knocked me clean off my skates!!! I also have a habit of catching people on the back of their arms when I'm coming in for a shoulder check from behind, but some extra work with my coach has sorted that one out. Although we are not WFTDA, we still base our skills, rules and regulations off them and its good to have a list of standards to work off. To see a list of all the rules/regulations and skills, check out
Its so good to see us all progressing so well, its giving us all hope that we will be doing this all in competition soon. Light at the end of the tunnel, as its hard setting up a new league from scratch. We don't have girls to watch bout and compete, we just have DVD's and the hope that when we do crash onto the scene, this city that we are in, wont know what hit it.............

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Fight! Fight! Fight!

Ever been in a playground and had people crowd round you with that chant? Remember that 'oh shit' feeling? NOT ANY MORE!!!! No-one is getting through my pads and helmet and mouth guard, no-one is taking me out! I'm a freaking awesome, hard ass Derby girl with a capital D and I'm gonna bring it this time!!!!! F*** YEAH!!!
Now, in derby, we don't condone fighting, but you have to have a little bit of showmanship now and again. You have to learn how to give it and take it and you never, ever give it to someone without them knowing its going to happen.
If you are reading this, you will be forgiven for thinking that I'm writing porn - and you will be right!! I'm writing my style of porn - derby style!!! You all know it, you all feel the same about Roller Derby! I am on a high after a totally fabtastic training session.
We had a blocking frenzy at practise. We were booty blocking, hip checking and shoulder bashing our way around the track. We were pack blocking and we all had our turns at playing Jammer. I'm gutted I don't have my new skates yet, I know I would have been a lot faster with them and I might even have given my opposing Jammer a run for her money.
Towards the end of practise, the skates came off and real scrimmaging started. We all started tackling each other and trying to bring each other down. It was like full on wrestling derby style and it was great! There was one on one wrestling and yes, there was the dog pile! I didn't realise 4 or 5 girls diving in a pile was so much fun!
Fuck, I love Derby! I have never had so much fun playing sport in my life! As I'm writing this, my legs hurt, my ass hurts and my arms hurt from blocking but I don't care. - derby is worth it!

Saturday, August 30, 2008

Out of Action

Bloody hell its been a long time. Its horrible being out of contact and off the grid. I have felt like a complete billy-no-mates since I moved into my new crib. At last though, I'm back on the grid and have been re-united with all my bestest peeps and avid blog followers and now you can sigh a big sigh of relief - I am back!!!
Now I have got that off my chest, back to the important stuff. A lot has been going on since I last checked in with you all. We have graduated from fresh meat to fully fledged league members. Training has become more intense, we seem to be doing more pack style drill which are fab! Its hard though, I've gone from focusing on my on performance and how I skate around the track to focusing on my team mates and how close they are to me! Its hard also to block legally - cant help those chicken wings!! Our coach has come up with a great drill though to keep us flappers in check. She makes us skate with paper plates under our arms, with our names on and if we block illegally, she knows because the only paper plates on the ground are of the flappers. Doing penalty lunges suck big time!!!
We have split into our respective teams which are awesome, it has given us a new identity and code to live up to. We still train as a league as we don't have enough girls in the teams to form a functioning, bouting team.
Talking about enough girls, we have another intake of freshies!! Yay!!! Cant wait to meet them all and see how they are all gonna fit in. They aren't gonna be as awesome as us though!!!!
Do y'all remember when I was agonizing over my fitness levels, wondering if it was me just being unfit, if it was the food I was eating before my practise of if it was just my plain old crappy skates? Well, a girl in the league gave me a go of her skates and I had my answer. OH MY GOD, I was flying on them! I was going so fast, I was actually scaring myself! My eyes were watering, my hair was flying out behind me, I was superwoman on skates!!!!! I could keep up with the girls without huffing and puffing, it wasn't so much of an effort skating around for a prolonged amount of time. I wasn't sliding out coming out of the corners, but my left leg was aching so much it was actually shaking after practise! I didn't know how much work your left leg in particular does. When the coaches were saying that we need to skate clockwise to prevent your legs and hips becoming uneven, I couldn't work out why as it didn't feel that way to me.......until now. I can definitely say that I am fit enough and its the crappy skates.
Well folks, I'm gonna leave this blog at that, but don't worry, I'm gonna be writing to you all soon enough. Got training in the next few days and I will be back with more blogtastic news then.
God, its good to be back........

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Watch out - here I come!

I love knocking people on their ass! I love blocking! I have bruises on my ass and legs from wheels and stoppers, but I freakin love knocking the girls on their asses and not saying sorry!!!
So, you can surmise from the opening to this blog that we have been practising block, hits and taking hits. I cant wait to do this on the track. I am perfecting the hit made famous by Beyonslay at the ECE, I'm gonna perfect it and I'm gonna open up a can of woop-ass in scrimmage. Still need to get my aerobic fitness up as we are going to be doing our 20 laps in 5 minutes, I want to be fit enough to pull it off and not die at mid point. Still got my shitty skates, have been looking over web-sites with derby skates like its porn!! Cannot wait until I'm able to order my derby skates.
We are going to be splitting into our teams in the next few weeks, but as we are a fairly new league, we will still all be practising together. I cant wait to see the next lot of newbies when they come through. I cant wait to have a hand in teaching them their derby skills and getting to know a new bunch of girls.
I'm currently jealous as hell as Rollercon is imminent and I cant go! Have been getting emails from girls that are going and they are telling me about the challenge bouts that are being held this year! I WANT TO GO!!!! (insert stamping of feet and crying here!) Maybe next year.

Friday, July 4, 2008

Feeling unfit.

I cant really work out why im tiring so much on the rink during practise. Is it because my skates are crap and heavy, is it that the training is getting harder and im just finding out how unfit I am or is it because i need to change my diet to give me a more sustained release of carbs during practise. I just cant seem to keep my level of fitness constant throughout my skate session.
We were practising whips again and when I was receiving them, I just couldnt seem to get enough speed up to catch my partner. My skates are fine, when skating at pace, but as soon as I speed up, they dont seem to give me enough speed.
I think I need to practise my aerobic endurance. I can hear my bike calling as I write!!! I also dont think im eating well enough to sustain me prior to a training session. Gonna have to start eating more rice and lean meat, something low GI which will sustain me for a couple of hours hard skating.
My legs still scream at me towards the end of a session, need to work more on my quads and abs to keep me squatting and lunging, also to give me more push off power. Any excuse to keep me from thinking that it is my age that is holding me back, god forbid that anyone should tell me that i cant keep up with the girls that are 10 years younger than me!
We were practising hits today - taking and giving them. My hits aren't that bad, managed to knock some girls on their asses. Also managed to get knocked on my ass a few times - there are some girls that are like brick walls when it comes to hitting them! I hope that they are in my team when it comes to it - I wouldn't like to see them coming at me on the rink!
My knee is a little better - can now skate in low position without pain. Still tiger balming it every night and have now got a knee gasket for extra support which is helping a lot.
I cant believe that it is coming up to the end of our fresh meat. Its a bit scary to think that we are going in with the league next month, more milestones to aspire to!! Harder hits to take and faster girls to keep up with!!

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Injuries and Illness!!!!

Sorry girls about the lack of blogging over this past fortnight. I have had a case of the sniffles and I have to say that its really hard to skate whilst ill. Even my 5 lap in a minute suffered because of it - I lost 15 seconds off my time because I couldn't sustain my speed. My first attempt at the 5 lap skate was 1m 07s, which I'm told is pretty great on second hand heavy skates with shitty wheels. I cant wait until I get proper derby skates, I am gonna blow all the other girls time out of the water!!
Still practising weaving and lapping the pack, still squatting in low skate position on the mistress of pains whistle. She is a slave driver! Also started practising whips and leaning drills - how many times did I end up on my ass! I locked wheels with my partner on more than one occasion and we both ended up on our backsides and even worse, I think I may have over-stretched my lateral knee ligament. Needless to say - I have been spending the last week with my knee raised and have been icing and compressing religiously! Its getting better and luckily I still have a week to go until my next training session.
Not long to go until the end of boot camp and then we are in with the league girls and will be splitting into our teams. Still have to be interviewed by the girls and accepted into the league - so not home and safe yet. I hope my injury and this flu settles and doesn't put them off accepting me into the league - I don't know what I will do. I love derby so much and have found girls that I really get on with. I love the whole derby ethics and love feeling like I'm part of this huge global family network - I don't want it all to stop!
Well, gonna have to go and ice my knee again. Will check in again next week after training to tell you all how I get on. Until then, skate hard and play hard!!!

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

New Gear!!!

I got my new pads, I got my new pads! Da-da-da-da-daaaa! They are so great, its like falling onto little pillows of air! I can slide forever on them because they are not shitty plastic ones and they make a great "thocking" noise when i double knee slide on them. I know your sliding wrong if you hear a "thock", but that will come as I improve, but I dont care, 'cause I love my new pads!!!
187's rock! The padding is so thick, I dont feel the floor as I go down. I wish I had bought them sooner, but I have them now and that is all that matters. I am now allowed to try double knee slides and I am trying to slide without the "thocking" down, but im not that delicate on my skates yet. Any tips/hints from anyone? Should I persevere in making contact with the floor on both knees at once, or should i momentarily go down on one knee first, then the other?
Back to boot-camp tho - the exercise drills are getting harder. We are doing bum slides - my ass is hurting so much! I am trying to alternate the ass cheeks I land on, but I find that sometimes I land square on my ass and I really don't want to be doing that. The thought of attending ER with a broken tailbone puts the fear of God into me! I don't want any doc putting his finger where the sun don't shine!
We were also practising one legged push offs in the low skate position - man, your thighs really burn at that one! The up side though, my jeans are looser around my thighs and that's always a good thing!!! Again, cross-overs from one side of the hall to the other and lunges - the lunges are getting easier but I've discovered that cross-overs aren't so easy with my 187's. Better than knee surgery though. Still need to get my mouth guard and my helmet and that is me all done until I get my new skates.
Cant wait for those!

Monday, June 9, 2008

Boot-camp continues.....

Not so sore this week. Is that because I'm getting fitter or because I wasn't skating in proper skating posture for the whole hour? Ive found that I'm exercising in between practises to try and build up my thighs - me exercising!!!! I'm allergic to exercise, or at least I was, but now I find myself practising lunges at home and on my skates in the park whenever I get some time!
Last week, I think the general public thought I had escaped from a mental institution somewhere as I was doing crossovers on the stairs of every building I was in - I don't have stairs at my place! Fantastic exercise off skates though, I would highly recommend it to anyone! I have also found my first fan. This poor boy is away from home and missing his local derby girls, we got chatting and he found out that I'm trying out for my local league. Ive never seen anyone so enthusiastic about derby - I had my first taste of what its all about. The fans are mental (in a good way) - its gonna be bigger than Jesus!
Anyway, this week at training it was all about skating low. I cant get down that low. Apparently my ass needs to be almost skimming the floor and then I need to fall on it and get back up within 3 seconds to avoid a penalty. Not only that, I have to do it without touching the floor with my hands! The mistress of torture - aka the coach - was having us skate around, then she would blow her whistle and we would all skate low, then we would T-Stop, then we would knee slide. I know I keep saying this, but I love Derby. I wish we could practise more than once a week. Oh, and I want to be a coach, I have so many bad-ass exercises lined up, my girls are gonna be lean, mean skating machines when I'm finished with them, but that will be another story. Gotta get through boot-camp first!

Monday, June 2, 2008

Feeling old

I am hurting in muscles I never knew I had. Im hurting in muscles I cant remember using! My left tricep hurts and my right ass cheek hurts and I groan like a granny when I sit down or stand up. My thighs hurt and I am waddling when I walk because I feel stiff but I love it. I love it because I know im skating properly. Knees bent - ass out and lead with your tits!!!!
We were practising one knee drops, sliding on both knees and 4 point slides. My league are reluctant to allow us fresh meat without proper knee pads to practise both knee slides without the right gear, which is fair enough, but I find myself feeling envious when I see my team mates gliding along on their 187's/888's and im stuck practising T-Stops!
Im getting better at skating - no falls this time! Im practising 4 point slides but I need to first slide on one knee before sliding on my hip and I need to support myself with my elbow as opposed to sliding with my arm out behind. Hence the sore tricep in one arm. I have also figured out that my right ass cheek hurts because that is my dominant leg, I use that one to push off and im using those muscles more than the left one. Im gonna end up with one thigh bigger than the other.
I love derby, I love skating even though I know its gonna hurt afterwards and I love my war wound, my bruise is just fading now and it has been over 10 days since my fall. In quite a sordid and bizarre way, im almost looking forward to my first fishnet burn!!!!

Friday, May 23, 2008

Fresh Meat

I have found my league. I have found my girls. We are in the process of creating our league at the moment, so its early days. The girls in my league are really cool, they skate great, they have cool gear. We are carving our place out in history and I am gonna be involved in that, in creating our identity. We are gonna rock!
I have just started on my long path to league-dom. There are other fresh-meat girls, all shit at skating thank god! We have had our chat with our coaches, introduced ourselves to each other and now we have had our first attempt on skates. It was awsome! Ive had to adjust to my new centre of gravity - with excess curves I didnt have when I was little. Ive discovered that my body doesnt react as well as it did pre-puberty!
Its all good though. I have discovered a sport that embraces curves. The bigger the ass, all the better to booty bump your skinny one out of the boundary! I fell so many times, but instead of being frowned upon, I was applauded for performing a spectacular spin, slide and fall on my (well-padded, thank god!) ass.
I didnt get any fish-net burn as I was wearing long shorts, but I did get my first derby bruise!
Long may it continue. Im getting better on my skates, its all coming back. I can perform T-Stops, I have been told I have good form when im skating and I can perform cross-overs. I have more confidence in my pads, but i still need new ones. The 187's are lookin real good about now. Ive discovered I sweat like a pig when I skate and I also turn a lovely shade of pink, but I dont care. I look hot, I am having serious fun, doing a sport that I love and im making new friends.
I love Roller Derby!

The Kit

I am here, I want to get out. I want the fishnets on show. I want to perform all these cool sliding/falling drills, T-Stops and 4 point falls. I want to shove girls aside as I blaze by them in a blur of skates and wrath. One problem - I cant skate!
I have less than adequate pads for my knees and elbows. I have ok wrist pads. I dont have a helmet or mouth guard and I have second-hand outdoor skates. I have plenty of fishnets, but they are hold-ups. I need proper gear, I need proper skates.
Last time I was on roller-skates, it was the eighties. Glitter balls were abound and roller discos were on every street corner. Duran Duran were my idols. My best friend and I would go to the roller disco every saturday, skate round and around, drink cherry cola slushies and try to look cool. Im not gonna tell you how long ago that was, but it would be safe to say that I stopped skating when most of the girls in my league were being born!
When I bought my skates, I was so excited I wore them straight away. I put them on, stepped out of the car and fell promptly on my arse!!! This cant be right, i thought. I know how to skate, I was shit-hot at skating. Why then am I sitting on my ass, in front of loads of people, feeling really stupid?

Awakening of the Soul

Im not an athlete - far from it, but ever since school, I knew there was a sport out there for me. The slow girl, the one who was always picked last out of her group. The one always sat on the bench looking for something more than hockey sticks, netball, cross-country running and day.
I finished school, became a decent, law-abiding citizen, got a very respectable, under-resourced, subject of many fantasies job and travelled the world - still looking for something.
I got married, got divorced, had a kid - had numerous one night stands/fuck buddies and now have settled where I am now. I am happy.
Then Roller Derby came along - introduced to me by my friend.
The something that I had been looking for has fallen into place. A sport that seems like it has been made for me. You get to dress up in themed uniforms, wear fishnets, you get to roller skate - on quad skates and you get to rough up other girls! What more can a girl ask for I hear you say, but it gets better. You get to re-invent yourself, literally. You get to choose your name, one that fits you as a person, the real you. Not the girl on the bench, you.
I am that girl.
I have my respectable work/family persona, then I put on by boots and get to I get to curse, push, skate, dress up and let the real me out to play.
Fantastic.....................Now i just need to learn how to skate!