Pretending to be Jammer

Man I'm shite-that's the official verdict!!!!!!
I had my first attempt (in fact 5 or 6) at Jamming since I injured my knee a few months ago. I have been taking it easy - getting used to skating full contact again, building up endurance, finding my form. Last practise, I stepped up to the line, I was feeling quite brave (or so I was trying to convince myself!), the whistle went and I found myself being left behind. Everyone was faster, fitter, more agile at finding holes in the pack than I was. I felt like a complete failure. Man I was shite!
I'm not gonna sit here and wallow though, I'm gonna get back up there and skate my ass off until my form returns. I'm gonna get better and fitter and stronger and I'm going to be the one who will kick ass again.
I'm also feeling very sore and stiff after practise which is a good thing - it means I was skating hard and its a good sore feeling. It hurts to sit down and stand up - I think I pulled a muscle in my ass!
The blocking was good, I think I'm kinda falling into the pivot role. I want to be able to play in any position though. I want to be an all rounder.
Its good to be back, although a little humiliating. The girls don't make me feel like a total loser though, the support is great. Also from you guys who read my blog, the little notes of support are great. Its good to know that I inspire and keep you all entertained!

Feels like forever......

Fuck, its been a long time!!!! Good news though, I'm back!!!!! Back on my skates and I feel like a newbie again. Ive lost my confidence, my speed and my endurance. We were playing chase the pack the other week and I was skating a jam speed and Ive never felt so unstable on my skates since I first put them on as a freshie! My skating position was all to hell, my skates were wobbling all over the place and I thought I was going to fall and injure my knee all over again. It sucks to be scared of an injury!
Ive been practising my knee drops also and I can just about perform double knee slides again with confidence and Ive fallen a few times without injury - woo-hoo!!! The only thing I need to tackle again is Jamming...........
That word puts the fear of death into me, I used to love stepping up to the jammer line and taking everyone on. Now, all I feel is the lack of confidence that comes with not being fast enough or steady enough. The insecurity of not being able to fall properly when I'm blocked is a bit scary also. I really don't want to be injured again before my season gets off to a start.
I'm trying to remedy it though, squats, lunges and just skating are all helping. The girls are fantastic, always reassuring me and shouting me on - you have no idea how much that comforts you when your not feeling all that on your skates.
Ive managed to achieve a few things whilst Ive been off my skates though. I have managed to write up our official rules and our referees are coming on leaps and bounds - although they are calling me out on my chicken wings a little to much for my liking!!!!! WHERE DO YOUR LOYALTIES LIE!!!!!!
We are becoming more like a fully functioning league every training session. We have more girls who are joining up every day, soon we will have all our teams filled and then you all better watch out!! We will be coming for ya and we will be victorious in our world domination! Mwahh-ha-ha!!!

Loss of Confidence

I have been off injured now for 5 weeks and it feels like forever. I have been on my skates skating, but no contact allowed. That means no blocking, no jamming, no checking, NO FUN!!!!!!! It really sucks, it was so hard to put my skates on again and get out there just to skate. I felt like a freshie again, scared of everyone around me and scared to really push myself incase I fell and hurt my knee all over again. I miss my girls, I miss being in the pack and blocking, I even miss jamming even though I'm not all that great at it! Before my injury, I felt like nothing could touch me, that I was invincible. I relished the thought of knocking my team mates on their asses and in turn being blocked on my ass. as one of my team mates was overheard saying "Is it wrong to love the feeling of your helmet sliding over the floor when you've been knocked on your ass?"
The up-shot of it all though is that Ive been able to learn the rules a bit more and will be getting all the refs up to speed with them. Ive been able to skate on the inside track and watch my girls and see where there could be any improvement and remind them to keep the chicken wings at bay!!! The down side is that I'm going to feel really guilty about my chicken wings and illegal moves because I should know better!!!!
My physio has been great, she has been massaging and ultrasounding me back to health and has been giving me really good exercises to follow - and I think she is coming round to the idea of being league physio!!!!! It should only be another week or two before I'm full contact again and I cant wait. Not looking forward to seeing how out of condition I am, but that will be another story....

Wake-up Call

Its a long way to fall off that pedestal you build up in your mind. That image you have of yourself speeding around the track, crossing over in all the right places, dodging and weaving through holes in the pack looking like that hot, awesome derby gal in Blood and Thunder magazine........
Until you are in that pack, trying to dodge and weave but the blocker in front of you is really good and not getting out of the way. Yes, you are speeding around the track, but you haven't yet completely mastered the art of controlling your speed and you put your hands out on impulse and slam into the back of her - if we had a Ref and we were jamming for real - that would cost me some time in the penalty box and I might have cost my team the game. Reality sucks!!! A wounded ego sucks even more.
I have to practise more, my league needs to practise more (because there is quite a lot of us in the same boat) - but how can we if we don't have the extra time in the building we have at the moment. I HATE NETBALL AND BASKETBALL and all the prissy fucking sports that have really good floors to skate on but are afraid of their floor being ripped up by skates! I hate the council for demolishing all the roller rinks and leasing out the remaining ones to useless fucking companies that keep them empty and wont share!!!! Aaarggh!
Now that I have that rant out of the way and I have projected my anger towards something else, I can get on with my blog!
Its our first time at scrimmaging properly, playing by the rules and jam times and its a bit of a let down to realise your not as good as you think you are. I'm not only bruised physically. I really need to bury my head in the rules book and get to know my jam formations. I need to remember to keep my hands to myself and I need to find holes in the pack instead of thinking I can just barge my way through. I need to remember that if I'm Pivoting, I need to control the speed of the pack and not go speeding off chasing the jammer and causing the pack to speed up also. I need to realise that as a blocker, my job is to block other blockers and make way for my Jammer and not just focus on the opposing Jammmer. Its a lot to learn, its a whole different mentality from just skating round and round and concentrating on my own ability. I have to switch to pack mentality and team mentality - not me, myself and I.
I must say also, that I'm a bit nervous of going up against some of the other teams. Fuck, they have some good blockers - I know, I was on the receiving end of them at practise! We are going to have to start forming strategies amongst our own teams and holding back some of what we have from league practise. Don't want to show our colours too early, going to have to be devious now. Its going to be hard, cause I think our girls are awesome and I want to hang out with them and skate with them all. Its not going to be long before we are splitting the practises. I don't know how its going to work with the lack of space and time, but I'm sure that will be another story. For now, im going to take my frustration out on my boyfriend..............

Skills Test 101

Skater must have good skating posture - check
Must be able to bend at knees and hips with shoulders back - check
Must be able to swing arms fluidly - check
Have steady, confident strides and use both feet to push forward on the straightways - check.

Have a kick-ass attitude, CHECK!!!!!!

We are being skills tested at the moment. The coaches have had enough of skating round and round in circles practising T-Stops, snow ploughs etc. Not that its not important, believe me it is, but we want to scrimmage, we want to get in there and shoulder check, practise at playing Jammer, Pivot and Blocker and generally kick some derby ass!

Before we do, we need to prove that we are safe and confident on our skates and able to dodge/jump our way out of trouble or over our teammates if they fall. Safety should NEVER be under-estimated (or is that over-estimated?), look at what happened to Tequila Mockingbird.

So, skills test...... Everyone in our league is doing quite well in that area, we are pretty much all safe and able to tick the necessary boxes, just little niggly things to iron out. For example, I cant skate on one foot along the length of the straight way. I can pick up my foot if I need to avoid objects/heads etc and I can pick my foot up and skate on the other for part of the straight way, but I'm buggered if I can do it all the way! I put that down to my crappy skates and so do my coaches, so I'm not that concerned as yet. I can shoulder block, ass block and lean people out of bounds. I can fall small - a skill found out when a team mate blind sided me and knocked me clean off my skates!!! I also have a habit of catching people on the back of their arms when I'm coming in for a shoulder check from behind, but some extra work with my coach has sorted that one out. Although we are not WFTDA, we still base our skills, rules and regulations off them and its good to have a list of standards to work off. To see a list of all the rules/regulations and skills, check out http://rules.wftda.com/official-rules/
Its so good to see us all progressing so well, its giving us all hope that we will be doing this all in competition soon. Light at the end of the tunnel, as its hard setting up a new league from scratch. We don't have girls to watch bout and compete, we just have DVD's and the hope that when we do crash onto the scene, this city that we are in, wont know what hit it.............

Injuries and Illness!!!!

Sorry girls about the lack of blogging over this past fortnight. I have had a case of the sniffles and I have to say that its really hard to skate whilst ill. Even my 5 lap in a minute suffered because of it - I lost 15 seconds off my time because I couldn't sustain my speed. My first attempt at the 5 lap skate was 1m 07s, which I'm told is pretty great on second hand heavy skates with shitty wheels. I cant wait until I get proper derby skates, I am gonna blow all the other girls time out of the water!!
Still practising weaving and lapping the pack, still squatting in low skate position on the mistress of pains whistle. She is a slave driver! Also started practising whips and leaning drills - how many times did I end up on my ass! I locked wheels with my partner on more than one occasion and we both ended up on our backsides and even worse, I think I may have over-stretched my lateral knee ligament. Needless to say - I have been spending the last week with my knee raised and have been icing and compressing religiously! Its getting better and luckily I still have a week to go until my next training session.
Not long to go until the end of boot camp and then we are in with the league girls and will be splitting into our teams. Still have to be interviewed by the girls and accepted into the league - so not home and safe yet. I hope my injury and this flu settles and doesn't put them off accepting me into the league - I don't know what I will do. I love derby so much and have found girls that I really get on with. I love the whole derby ethics and love feeling like I'm part of this huge global family network - I don't want it all to stop!
Well, gonna have to go and ice my knee again. Will check in again next week after training to tell you all how I get on. Until then, skate hard and play hard!!!

Boot-camp continues.....

Not so sore this week. Is that because I'm getting fitter or because I wasn't skating in proper skating posture for the whole hour? Ive found that I'm exercising in between practises to try and build up my thighs - me exercising!!!! I'm allergic to exercise, or at least I was, but now I find myself practising lunges at home and on my skates in the park whenever I get some time!

Last week, I think the general public thought I had escaped from a mental institution somewhere as I was doing crossovers on the stairs of every building I was in - I don't have stairs at my place! Fantastic exercise off skates though, I would highly recommend it to anyone! I have also found my first fan. This poor boy is away from home and missing his local derby girls, we got chatting and he found out that I'm trying out for my local league. Ive never seen anyone so enthusiastic about derby - I had my first taste of what its all about. The fans are mental (in a good way) - its gonna be bigger than Jesus!

Anyway, this week at training it was all about skating low. I cant get down that low. Apparently my ass needs to be almost skimming the floor and then I need to fall on it and get back up within 3 seconds to avoid a penalty. Not only that, I have to do it without touching the floor with my hands! The mistress of torture - aka the coach - was having us skate around, then she would blow her whistle and we would all skate low, then we would T-Stop, then we would knee slide. I know I keep saying this, but I love Derby. I wish we could practise more than once a week. Oh, and I want to be a coach, I have so many bad-ass exercises lined up, my girls are gonna be lean, mean skating machines when I'm finished with them, but that will be another story. Gotta get through boot-camp first!

Feeling old

I am hurting in muscles I never knew I had. Im hurting in muscles I cant remember using! My left tricep hurts and my right ass cheek hurts and I groan like a granny when I sit down or stand up. My thighs hurt and I am waddling when I walk because I feel stiff but I love it. I love it because I know im skating properly. Knees bent - ass out and lead with your tits!!!!

We were practising one knee drops, sliding on both knees and 4 point slides. My league are reluctant to allow us fresh meat without proper knee pads to practise both knee slides without the right gear, which is fair enough, but I find myself feeling envious when I see my team mates gliding along on their 187's/888's and im stuck practising T-Stops!

Im getting better at skating - no falls this time! Im practising 4 point slides but I need to first slide on one knee before sliding on my hip and I need to support myself with my elbow as opposed to sliding with my arm out behind. Hence the sore tricep in one arm. I have also figured out that my right ass cheek hurts because that is my dominant leg, I use that one to push off and im using those muscles more than the left one. Im gonna end up with one thigh bigger than the other.

I love derby, I love skating even though I know its gonna hurt afterwards and I love my war wound, my bruise is just fading now and it has been over 10 days since my fall. In quite a sordid and bizarre way, im almost looking forward to my first fishnet burn!!!!

Fresh Meat

I have found my league. I have found my girls. We are in the process of creating our league at the moment, so its early days. The girls in my league are really cool, they skate great, they have cool gear. We are carving our place out in history and I am gonna be involved in that, in creating our identity. We are gonna rock!

I have just started on my long path to league-dom. There are other fresh-meat girls, all shit at skating thank god! We have had our chat with our coaches, introduced ourselves to each other and now we have had our first attempt on skates. It was awsome! Ive had to adjust to my new centre of gravity - with excess curves I didnt have when I was little. Ive discovered that my body doesnt react as well as it did pre-puberty!

Its all good though. I have discovered a sport that embraces curves. The bigger the ass, all the better to booty bump your skinny one out of the boundary! I fell so many times, but instead of being frowned upon, I was applauded for performing a spectacular spin, slide and fall on my (well-padded, thank god!) ass.

I didnt get any fish-net burn as I was wearing long shorts, but I did get my first derby bruise!

Long may it continue. Im getting better on my skates, its all coming back. I can perform T-Stops, I have been told I have good form when im skating and I can perform cross-overs. I have more confidence in my pads, but i still need new ones. The 187's are lookin real good about now. Ive discovered I sweat like a pig when I skate and I also turn a lovely shade of pink, but I dont care. I look hot, I am having serious fun, doing a sport that I love and im making new friends.

I love Roller Derby!

The Kit

I am here, I want to get out. I want the fishnets on show. I want to perform all these cool sliding/falling drills, T-Stops and 4 point falls. I want to shove girls aside as I blaze by them in a blur of skates and wrath. One problem - I cant skate!

I have less than adequate pads for my knees and elbows. I have ok wrist pads. I dont have a helmet or mouth guard and I have second-hand outdoor skates. I have plenty of fishnets, but they are hold-ups. I need proper gear, I need proper skates.

Last time I was on roller-skates, it was the eighties. Glitter balls were abound and roller discos were on every street corner. Duran Duran were my idols. My best friend and I would go to the roller disco every saturday, skate round and around, drink cherry cola slushies and try to look cool. Im not gonna tell you how long ago that was, but it would be safe to say that I stopped skating when most of the girls in my league were being born!

When I bought my skates, I was so excited I wore them straight away. I put them on, stepped out of the car and fell promptly on my arse!!! This cant be right, i thought. I know how to skate, I was shit-hot at skating. Why then am I sitting on my ass, in front of loads of people, feeling really stupid?