Clash of personalities???

Im feeling disembodied, I feel like im being taken over by another, more dominant force. My derby persona is encroaching more and more in my personal life and im getting more and more confused by the day.
My everyday clothing is being taken over by shorter skirts and stripier, more vibrant socks. My rugby shirts are being relegated to the back of the wardrobe in favour of all my different roller girl t-shirts. My sensible, comfy trainers are being relegated in favour of higher heels and platform soles. What is happening to me? Is my derby persona the real me thats always been afraid to venture forth or am I being taken over by an alter ego that was made for the track?
I have always known she has been there, lurking in the background, but I have always been able to control her - she only got out to play when I was drunk or feeling really slim and confident with myself. Now she is easier to 'let out of the box' and its getting harder and harder for me to put her away!
I feel I may be taken away in a straight jacket if I tell any of my non-derby friends how I feel, but in a way, im not all that concerned if she comes out to stay.
My other self is confident, sassy and not afraid to slap men on the ass and give a sly wink someones way! She is less likely to let people walk all over her, not afraid to tell people that enough is enough - your not taking advantage of me anymore! My boyfriend likes my other self - im sure of it!!!! He likes the way she takes control...........
Does anyone else feel this way about their derby alter ego? Surely im not the only one with a clash of personalities.......

On the derby front, im injured!!!! I fell whilst jamming and buggered my knee. Im off full contact scrimmage for a few weeks. The upside, im learning the rules as im playing at being ref. I dont want to learn the rules of course - because then I cant cheat and say I didnt know that I was doing wrong!!!!!
We are about to start with a new set of fresh meat - almost at full capacity! Yay! We are officially that one step closer to posting our bout season.........in front of real live people, joe public and all that jazz.
On a personal front, im posting less than regularly as my computer died on me. Gonna have to get a new one. I feel lost, jittery and out of touch without my laptop.
Never fear tho, I will endeavour to bring you my news and gossip and my ramblings!!!!

Skills Test 101

Skater must have good skating posture - check
Must be able to bend at knees and hips with shoulders back - check
Must be able to swing arms fluidly - check
Have steady, confident strides and use both feet to push forward on the straightways - check.

Have a kick-ass attitude, CHECK!!!!!!

We are being skills tested at the moment. The coaches have had enough of skating round and round in circles practising T-Stops, snow ploughs etc. Not that its not important, believe me it is, but we want to scrimmage, we want to get in there and shoulder check, practise at playing Jammer, Pivot and Blocker and generally kick some derby ass!

Before we do, we need to prove that we are safe and confident on our skates and able to dodge/jump our way out of trouble or over our teammates if they fall. Safety should NEVER be under-estimated (or is that over-estimated?), look at what happened to Tequila Mockingbird.

So, skills test...... Everyone in our league is doing quite well in that area, we are pretty much all safe and able to tick the necessary boxes, just little niggly things to iron out. For example, I cant skate on one foot along the length of the straight way. I can pick up my foot if I need to avoid objects/heads etc and I can pick my foot up and skate on the other for part of the straight way, but I'm buggered if I can do it all the way! I put that down to my crappy skates and so do my coaches, so I'm not that concerned as yet. I can shoulder block, ass block and lean people out of bounds. I can fall small - a skill found out when a team mate blind sided me and knocked me clean off my skates!!! I also have a habit of catching people on the back of their arms when I'm coming in for a shoulder check from behind, but some extra work with my coach has sorted that one out. Although we are not WFTDA, we still base our skills, rules and regulations off them and its good to have a list of standards to work off. To see a list of all the rules/regulations and skills, check out http://rules.wftda.com/official-rules/
Its so good to see us all progressing so well, its giving us all hope that we will be doing this all in competition soon. Light at the end of the tunnel, as its hard setting up a new league from scratch. We don't have girls to watch bout and compete, we just have DVD's and the hope that when we do crash onto the scene, this city that we are in, wont know what hit it.............

Fight! Fight! Fight!

Ever been in a playground and had people crowd round you with that chant? Remember that 'oh shit' feeling? NOT ANY MORE!!!! No-one is getting through my pads and helmet and mouth guard, no-one is taking me out! I'm a freaking awesome, hard ass Derby girl with a capital D and I'm gonna bring it this time!!!!! F*** YEAH!!!
Now, in derby, we don't condone fighting, but you have to have a little bit of showmanship now and again. You have to learn how to give it and take it and you never, ever give it to someone without them knowing its going to happen.
If you are reading this, you will be forgiven for thinking that I'm writing porn - and you will be right!! I'm writing my style of porn - derby style!!! You all know it, you all feel the same about Roller Derby! I am on a high after a totally fabtastic training session.
We had a blocking frenzy at practise. We were booty blocking, hip checking and shoulder bashing our way around the track. We were pack blocking and we all had our turns at playing Jammer. I'm gutted I don't have my new skates yet, I know I would have been a lot faster with them and I might even have given my opposing Jammer a run for her money.
Towards the end of practise, the skates came off and real scrimmaging started. We all started tackling each other and trying to bring each other down. It was like full on wrestling derby style and it was great! There was one on one wrestling and yes, there was the dog pile! I didn't realise 4 or 5 girls diving in a pile was so much fun!
Fuck, I love Derby! I have never had so much fun playing sport in my life! As I'm writing this, my legs hurt, my ass hurts and my arms hurt from blocking but I don't care. - derby is worth it!

Watch out - here I come!

I love knocking people on their ass! I love blocking! I have bruises on my ass and legs from wheels and stoppers, but I freakin love knocking the girls on their asses and not saying sorry!!!
So, you can surmise from the opening to this blog that we have been practising block, hits and taking hits. I cant wait to do this on the track. I am perfecting the hit made famous by Beyonslay at the ECE, I'm gonna perfect it and I'm gonna open up a can of woop-ass in scrimmage. Still need to get my aerobic fitness up as we are going to be doing our 20 laps in 5 minutes, I want to be fit enough to pull it off and not die at mid point. Still got my shitty skates, have been looking over web-sites with derby skates like its porn!! Cannot wait until I'm able to order my derby skates.
We are going to be splitting into our teams in the next few weeks, but as we are a fairly new league, we will still all be practising together. I cant wait to see the next lot of newbies when they come through. I cant wait to have a hand in teaching them their derby skills and getting to know a new bunch of girls.
I'm currently jealous as hell as Rollercon is imminent and I cant go! Have been getting emails from girls that are going and they are telling me about the challenge bouts that are being held this year! I WANT TO GO!!!! (insert stamping of feet and crying here!) Maybe next year.

Injuries and Illness!!!!

Sorry girls about the lack of blogging over this past fortnight. I have had a case of the sniffles and I have to say that its really hard to skate whilst ill. Even my 5 lap in a minute suffered because of it - I lost 15 seconds off my time because I couldn't sustain my speed. My first attempt at the 5 lap skate was 1m 07s, which I'm told is pretty great on second hand heavy skates with shitty wheels. I cant wait until I get proper derby skates, I am gonna blow all the other girls time out of the water!!
Still practising weaving and lapping the pack, still squatting in low skate position on the mistress of pains whistle. She is a slave driver! Also started practising whips and leaning drills - how many times did I end up on my ass! I locked wheels with my partner on more than one occasion and we both ended up on our backsides and even worse, I think I may have over-stretched my lateral knee ligament. Needless to say - I have been spending the last week with my knee raised and have been icing and compressing religiously! Its getting better and luckily I still have a week to go until my next training session.
Not long to go until the end of boot camp and then we are in with the league girls and will be splitting into our teams. Still have to be interviewed by the girls and accepted into the league - so not home and safe yet. I hope my injury and this flu settles and doesn't put them off accepting me into the league - I don't know what I will do. I love derby so much and have found girls that I really get on with. I love the whole derby ethics and love feeling like I'm part of this huge global family network - I don't want it all to stop!
Well, gonna have to go and ice my knee again. Will check in again next week after training to tell you all how I get on. Until then, skate hard and play hard!!!

Boot-camp continues.....

Not so sore this week. Is that because I'm getting fitter or because I wasn't skating in proper skating posture for the whole hour? Ive found that I'm exercising in between practises to try and build up my thighs - me exercising!!!! I'm allergic to exercise, or at least I was, but now I find myself practising lunges at home and on my skates in the park whenever I get some time!

Last week, I think the general public thought I had escaped from a mental institution somewhere as I was doing crossovers on the stairs of every building I was in - I don't have stairs at my place! Fantastic exercise off skates though, I would highly recommend it to anyone! I have also found my first fan. This poor boy is away from home and missing his local derby girls, we got chatting and he found out that I'm trying out for my local league. Ive never seen anyone so enthusiastic about derby - I had my first taste of what its all about. The fans are mental (in a good way) - its gonna be bigger than Jesus!

Anyway, this week at training it was all about skating low. I cant get down that low. Apparently my ass needs to be almost skimming the floor and then I need to fall on it and get back up within 3 seconds to avoid a penalty. Not only that, I have to do it without touching the floor with my hands! The mistress of torture - aka the coach - was having us skate around, then she would blow her whistle and we would all skate low, then we would T-Stop, then we would knee slide. I know I keep saying this, but I love Derby. I wish we could practise more than once a week. Oh, and I want to be a coach, I have so many bad-ass exercises lined up, my girls are gonna be lean, mean skating machines when I'm finished with them, but that will be another story. Gotta get through boot-camp first!

Feeling old

I am hurting in muscles I never knew I had. Im hurting in muscles I cant remember using! My left tricep hurts and my right ass cheek hurts and I groan like a granny when I sit down or stand up. My thighs hurt and I am waddling when I walk because I feel stiff but I love it. I love it because I know im skating properly. Knees bent - ass out and lead with your tits!!!!

We were practising one knee drops, sliding on both knees and 4 point slides. My league are reluctant to allow us fresh meat without proper knee pads to practise both knee slides without the right gear, which is fair enough, but I find myself feeling envious when I see my team mates gliding along on their 187's/888's and im stuck practising T-Stops!

Im getting better at skating - no falls this time! Im practising 4 point slides but I need to first slide on one knee before sliding on my hip and I need to support myself with my elbow as opposed to sliding with my arm out behind. Hence the sore tricep in one arm. I have also figured out that my right ass cheek hurts because that is my dominant leg, I use that one to push off and im using those muscles more than the left one. Im gonna end up with one thigh bigger than the other.

I love derby, I love skating even though I know its gonna hurt afterwards and I love my war wound, my bruise is just fading now and it has been over 10 days since my fall. In quite a sordid and bizarre way, im almost looking forward to my first fishnet burn!!!!

Fresh Meat

I have found my league. I have found my girls. We are in the process of creating our league at the moment, so its early days. The girls in my league are really cool, they skate great, they have cool gear. We are carving our place out in history and I am gonna be involved in that, in creating our identity. We are gonna rock!

I have just started on my long path to league-dom. There are other fresh-meat girls, all shit at skating thank god! We have had our chat with our coaches, introduced ourselves to each other and now we have had our first attempt on skates. It was awsome! Ive had to adjust to my new centre of gravity - with excess curves I didnt have when I was little. Ive discovered that my body doesnt react as well as it did pre-puberty!

Its all good though. I have discovered a sport that embraces curves. The bigger the ass, all the better to booty bump your skinny one out of the boundary! I fell so many times, but instead of being frowned upon, I was applauded for performing a spectacular spin, slide and fall on my (well-padded, thank god!) ass.

I didnt get any fish-net burn as I was wearing long shorts, but I did get my first derby bruise!

Long may it continue. Im getting better on my skates, its all coming back. I can perform T-Stops, I have been told I have good form when im skating and I can perform cross-overs. I have more confidence in my pads, but i still need new ones. The 187's are lookin real good about now. Ive discovered I sweat like a pig when I skate and I also turn a lovely shade of pink, but I dont care. I look hot, I am having serious fun, doing a sport that I love and im making new friends.

I love Roller Derby!

Awakening of the Soul

Im not an athlete - far from it, but ever since school, I knew there was a sport out there for me. The slow girl, the one who was always picked last out of her group. The one always sat on the bench looking for something more than hockey sticks, netball, cross-country running and tennis..........one day.

I finished school, became a decent, law-abiding citizen, got a very respectable, under-resourced, subject of many fantasies job and travelled the world - still looking for something.

I got married, got divorced, had a kid - had numerous one night stands/fuck buddies and now have settled where I am now. I am happy.

Then Roller Derby came along - introduced to me by my friend.

The something that I had been looking for has fallen into place. A sport that seems like it has been made for me. You get to dress up in themed uniforms, wear fishnets, you get to roller skate - on quad skates and you get to rough up other girls! What more can a girl ask for I hear you say, but it gets better. You get to re-invent yourself, literally. You get to choose your name, one that fits you as a person, the real you. Not the girl on the bench, you.

I am that girl.

I have my respectable work/family persona, then I put on by boots and get to be.........me. I get to curse, push, skate, dress up and let the real me out to play.

Fantastic.....................Now i just need to learn how to skate!