Wake-up Call

Its a long way to fall off that pedestal you build up in your mind. That image you have of yourself speeding around the track, crossing over in all the right places, dodging and weaving through holes in the pack looking like that hot, awesome derby gal in Blood and Thunder magazine........
Until you are in that pack, trying to dodge and weave but the blocker in front of you is really good and not getting out of the way. Yes, you are speeding around the track, but you haven't yet completely mastered the art of controlling your speed and you put your hands out on impulse and slam into the back of her - if we had a Ref and we were jamming for real - that would cost me some time in the penalty box and I might have cost my team the game. Reality sucks!!! A wounded ego sucks even more.
I have to practise more, my league needs to practise more (because there is quite a lot of us in the same boat) - but how can we if we don't have the extra time in the building we have at the moment. I HATE NETBALL AND BASKETBALL and all the prissy fucking sports that have really good floors to skate on but are afraid of their floor being ripped up by skates! I hate the council for demolishing all the roller rinks and leasing out the remaining ones to useless fucking companies that keep them empty and wont share!!!! Aaarggh!
Now that I have that rant out of the way and I have projected my anger towards something else, I can get on with my blog!
Its our first time at scrimmaging properly, playing by the rules and jam times and its a bit of a let down to realise your not as good as you think you are. I'm not only bruised physically. I really need to bury my head in the rules book and get to know my jam formations. I need to remember to keep my hands to myself and I need to find holes in the pack instead of thinking I can just barge my way through. I need to remember that if I'm Pivoting, I need to control the speed of the pack and not go speeding off chasing the jammer and causing the pack to speed up also. I need to realise that as a blocker, my job is to block other blockers and make way for my Jammer and not just focus on the opposing Jammmer. Its a lot to learn, its a whole different mentality from just skating round and round and concentrating on my own ability. I have to switch to pack mentality and team mentality - not me, myself and I.
I must say also, that I'm a bit nervous of going up against some of the other teams. Fuck, they have some good blockers - I know, I was on the receiving end of them at practise! We are going to have to start forming strategies amongst our own teams and holding back some of what we have from league practise. Don't want to show our colours too early, going to have to be devious now. Its going to be hard, cause I think our girls are awesome and I want to hang out with them and skate with them all. Its not going to be long before we are splitting the practises. I don't know how its going to work with the lack of space and time, but I'm sure that will be another story. For now, im going to take my frustration out on my boyfriend..............

Awakening of the Soul

Im not an athlete - far from it, but ever since school, I knew there was a sport out there for me. The slow girl, the one who was always picked last out of her group. The one always sat on the bench looking for something more than hockey sticks, netball, cross-country running and tennis..........one day.

I finished school, became a decent, law-abiding citizen, got a very respectable, under-resourced, subject of many fantasies job and travelled the world - still looking for something.

I got married, got divorced, had a kid - had numerous one night stands/fuck buddies and now have settled where I am now. I am happy.

Then Roller Derby came along - introduced to me by my friend.

The something that I had been looking for has fallen into place. A sport that seems like it has been made for me. You get to dress up in themed uniforms, wear fishnets, you get to roller skate - on quad skates and you get to rough up other girls! What more can a girl ask for I hear you say, but it gets better. You get to re-invent yourself, literally. You get to choose your name, one that fits you as a person, the real you. Not the girl on the bench, you.

I am that girl.

I have my respectable work/family persona, then I put on by boots and get to be.........me. I get to curse, push, skate, dress up and let the real me out to play.

Fantastic.....................Now i just need to learn how to skate!