Feels like forever......

Fuck, its been a long time!!!! Good news though, I'm back!!!!! Back on my skates and I feel like a newbie again. Ive lost my confidence, my speed and my endurance. We were playing chase the pack the other week and I was skating a jam speed and Ive never felt so unstable on my skates since I first put them on as a freshie! My skating position was all to hell, my skates were wobbling all over the place and I thought I was going to fall and injure my knee all over again. It sucks to be scared of an injury!
Ive been practising my knee drops also and I can just about perform double knee slides again with confidence and Ive fallen a few times without injury - woo-hoo!!! The only thing I need to tackle again is Jamming...........
That word puts the fear of death into me, I used to love stepping up to the jammer line and taking everyone on. Now, all I feel is the lack of confidence that comes with not being fast enough or steady enough. The insecurity of not being able to fall properly when I'm blocked is a bit scary also. I really don't want to be injured again before my season gets off to a start.
I'm trying to remedy it though, squats, lunges and just skating are all helping. The girls are fantastic, always reassuring me and shouting me on - you have no idea how much that comforts you when your not feeling all that on your skates.
Ive managed to achieve a few things whilst Ive been off my skates though. I have managed to write up our official rules and our referees are coming on leaps and bounds - although they are calling me out on my chicken wings a little to much for my liking!!!!! WHERE DO YOUR LOYALTIES LIE!!!!!!
We are becoming more like a fully functioning league every training session. We have more girls who are joining up every day, soon we will have all our teams filled and then you all better watch out!! We will be coming for ya and we will be victorious in our world domination! Mwahh-ha-ha!!!

Loss of Confidence

I have been off injured now for 5 weeks and it feels like forever. I have been on my skates skating, but no contact allowed. That means no blocking, no jamming, no checking, NO FUN!!!!!!! It really sucks, it was so hard to put my skates on again and get out there just to skate. I felt like a freshie again, scared of everyone around me and scared to really push myself incase I fell and hurt my knee all over again. I miss my girls, I miss being in the pack and blocking, I even miss jamming even though I'm not all that great at it! Before my injury, I felt like nothing could touch me, that I was invincible. I relished the thought of knocking my team mates on their asses and in turn being blocked on my ass. as one of my team mates was overheard saying "Is it wrong to love the feeling of your helmet sliding over the floor when you've been knocked on your ass?"
The up-shot of it all though is that Ive been able to learn the rules a bit more and will be getting all the refs up to speed with them. Ive been able to skate on the inside track and watch my girls and see where there could be any improvement and remind them to keep the chicken wings at bay!!! The down side is that I'm going to feel really guilty about my chicken wings and illegal moves because I should know better!!!!
My physio has been great, she has been massaging and ultrasounding me back to health and has been giving me really good exercises to follow - and I think she is coming round to the idea of being league physio!!!!! It should only be another week or two before I'm full contact again and I cant wait. Not looking forward to seeing how out of condition I am, but that will be another story....