Fresh Meat

I have found my league. I have found my girls. We are in the process of creating our league at the moment, so its early days. The girls in my league are really cool, they skate great, they have cool gear. We are carving our place out in history and I am gonna be involved in that, in creating our identity. We are gonna rock!

I have just started on my long path to league-dom. There are other fresh-meat girls, all shit at skating thank god! We have had our chat with our coaches, introduced ourselves to each other and now we have had our first attempt on skates. It was awsome! Ive had to adjust to my new centre of gravity - with excess curves I didnt have when I was little. Ive discovered that my body doesnt react as well as it did pre-puberty!

Its all good though. I have discovered a sport that embraces curves. The bigger the ass, all the better to booty bump your skinny one out of the boundary! I fell so many times, but instead of being frowned upon, I was applauded for performing a spectacular spin, slide and fall on my (well-padded, thank god!) ass.

I didnt get any fish-net burn as I was wearing long shorts, but I did get my first derby bruise!

Long may it continue. Im getting better on my skates, its all coming back. I can perform T-Stops, I have been told I have good form when im skating and I can perform cross-overs. I have more confidence in my pads, but i still need new ones. The 187's are lookin real good about now. Ive discovered I sweat like a pig when I skate and I also turn a lovely shade of pink, but I dont care. I look hot, I am having serious fun, doing a sport that I love and im making new friends.

I love Roller Derby!

The Kit

I am here, I want to get out. I want the fishnets on show. I want to perform all these cool sliding/falling drills, T-Stops and 4 point falls. I want to shove girls aside as I blaze by them in a blur of skates and wrath. One problem - I cant skate!

I have less than adequate pads for my knees and elbows. I have ok wrist pads. I dont have a helmet or mouth guard and I have second-hand outdoor skates. I have plenty of fishnets, but they are hold-ups. I need proper gear, I need proper skates.

Last time I was on roller-skates, it was the eighties. Glitter balls were abound and roller discos were on every street corner. Duran Duran were my idols. My best friend and I would go to the roller disco every saturday, skate round and around, drink cherry cola slushies and try to look cool. Im not gonna tell you how long ago that was, but it would be safe to say that I stopped skating when most of the girls in my league were being born!

When I bought my skates, I was so excited I wore them straight away. I put them on, stepped out of the car and fell promptly on my arse!!! This cant be right, i thought. I know how to skate, I was shit-hot at skating. Why then am I sitting on my ass, in front of loads of people, feeling really stupid?

Awakening of the Soul

Im not an athlete - far from it, but ever since school, I knew there was a sport out there for me. The slow girl, the one who was always picked last out of her group. The one always sat on the bench looking for something more than hockey sticks, netball, cross-country running and tennis..........one day.

I finished school, became a decent, law-abiding citizen, got a very respectable, under-resourced, subject of many fantasies job and travelled the world - still looking for something.

I got married, got divorced, had a kid - had numerous one night stands/fuck buddies and now have settled where I am now. I am happy.

Then Roller Derby came along - introduced to me by my friend.

The something that I had been looking for has fallen into place. A sport that seems like it has been made for me. You get to dress up in themed uniforms, wear fishnets, you get to roller skate - on quad skates and you get to rough up other girls! What more can a girl ask for I hear you say, but it gets better. You get to re-invent yourself, literally. You get to choose your name, one that fits you as a person, the real you. Not the girl on the bench, you.

I am that girl.

I have my respectable work/family persona, then I put on by boots and get to be.........me. I get to curse, push, skate, dress up and let the real me out to play.

Fantastic.....................Now i just need to learn how to skate!