Watch out - here I come!

I love knocking people on their ass! I love blocking! I have bruises on my ass and legs from wheels and stoppers, but I freakin love knocking the girls on their asses and not saying sorry!!!
So, you can surmise from the opening to this blog that we have been practising block, hits and taking hits. I cant wait to do this on the track. I am perfecting the hit made famous by Beyonslay at the ECE, I'm gonna perfect it and I'm gonna open up a can of woop-ass in scrimmage. Still need to get my aerobic fitness up as we are going to be doing our 20 laps in 5 minutes, I want to be fit enough to pull it off and not die at mid point. Still got my shitty skates, have been looking over web-sites with derby skates like its porn!! Cannot wait until I'm able to order my derby skates.
We are going to be splitting into our teams in the next few weeks, but as we are a fairly new league, we will still all be practising together. I cant wait to see the next lot of newbies when they come through. I cant wait to have a hand in teaching them their derby skills and getting to know a new bunch of girls.
I'm currently jealous as hell as Rollercon is imminent and I cant go! Have been getting emails from girls that are going and they are telling me about the challenge bouts that are being held this year! I WANT TO GO!!!! (insert stamping of feet and crying here!) Maybe next year.

Feeling unfit.

I cant really work out why im tiring so much on the rink during practise. Is it because my skates are crap and heavy, is it that the training is getting harder and im just finding out how unfit I am or is it because i need to change my diet to give me a more sustained release of carbs during practise. I just cant seem to keep my level of fitness constant throughout my skate session.
We were practising whips again and when I was receiving them, I just couldnt seem to get enough speed up to catch my partner. My skates are fine, when skating at pace, but as soon as I speed up, they dont seem to give me enough speed.
I think I need to practise my aerobic endurance. I can hear my bike calling as I write!!! I also dont think im eating well enough to sustain me prior to a training session. Gonna have to start eating more rice and lean meat, something low GI which will sustain me for a couple of hours hard skating.
My legs still scream at me towards the end of a session, need to work more on my quads and abs to keep me squatting and lunging, also to give me more push off power. Any excuse to keep me from thinking that it is my age that is holding me back, god forbid that anyone should tell me that i cant keep up with the girls that are 10 years younger than me!
We were practising hits today - taking and giving them. My hits aren't that bad, managed to knock some girls on their asses. Also managed to get knocked on my ass a few times - there are some girls that are like brick walls when it comes to hitting them! I hope that they are in my team when it comes to it - I wouldn't like to see them coming at me on the rink!
My knee is a little better - can now skate in low position without pain. Still tiger balming it every night and have now got a knee gasket for extra support which is helping a lot.
I cant believe that it is coming up to the end of our fresh meat. Its a bit scary to think that we are going in with the league next month, more milestones to aspire to!! Harder hits to take and faster girls to keep up with!!

Injuries and Illness!!!!

Sorry girls about the lack of blogging over this past fortnight. I have had a case of the sniffles and I have to say that its really hard to skate whilst ill. Even my 5 lap in a minute suffered because of it - I lost 15 seconds off my time because I couldn't sustain my speed. My first attempt at the 5 lap skate was 1m 07s, which I'm told is pretty great on second hand heavy skates with shitty wheels. I cant wait until I get proper derby skates, I am gonna blow all the other girls time out of the water!!
Still practising weaving and lapping the pack, still squatting in low skate position on the mistress of pains whistle. She is a slave driver! Also started practising whips and leaning drills - how many times did I end up on my ass! I locked wheels with my partner on more than one occasion and we both ended up on our backsides and even worse, I think I may have over-stretched my lateral knee ligament. Needless to say - I have been spending the last week with my knee raised and have been icing and compressing religiously! Its getting better and luckily I still have a week to go until my next training session.
Not long to go until the end of boot camp and then we are in with the league girls and will be splitting into our teams. Still have to be interviewed by the girls and accepted into the league - so not home and safe yet. I hope my injury and this flu settles and doesn't put them off accepting me into the league - I don't know what I will do. I love derby so much and have found girls that I really get on with. I love the whole derby ethics and love feeling like I'm part of this huge global family network - I don't want it all to stop!
Well, gonna have to go and ice my knee again. Will check in again next week after training to tell you all how I get on. Until then, skate hard and play hard!!!

New Gear!!!

I got my new pads, I got my new pads! Da-da-da-da-daaaa! They are so great, its like falling onto little pillows of air! I can slide forever on them because they are not shitty plastic ones and they make a great "thocking" noise when i double knee slide on them. I know your sliding wrong if you hear a "thock", but that will come as I improve, but I dont care, 'cause I love my new pads!!!

187's rock! The padding is so thick, I dont feel the floor as I go down. I wish I had bought them sooner, but I have them now and that is all that matters. I am now allowed to try double knee slides and I am trying to slide without the "thocking" down, but im not that delicate on my skates yet. Any tips/hints from anyone? Should I persevere in making contact with the floor on both knees at once, or should i momentarily go down on one knee first, then the other?

Back to boot-camp tho - the exercise drills are getting harder. We are doing bum slides - my ass is hurting so much! I am trying to alternate the ass cheeks I land on, but I find that sometimes I land square on my ass and I really don't want to be doing that. The thought of attending ER with a broken tailbone puts the fear of God into me! I don't want any doc putting his finger where the sun don't shine!

We were also practising one legged push offs in the low skate position - man, your thighs really burn at that one! The up side though, my jeans are looser around my thighs and that's always a good thing!!! Again, cross-overs from one side of the hall to the other and lunges - the lunges are getting easier but I've discovered that cross-overs aren't so easy with my 187's. Better than knee surgery though. Still need to get my mouth guard and my helmet and that is me all done until I get my new skates.

Cant wait for those!

Boot-camp continues.....

Not so sore this week. Is that because I'm getting fitter or because I wasn't skating in proper skating posture for the whole hour? Ive found that I'm exercising in between practises to try and build up my thighs - me exercising!!!! I'm allergic to exercise, or at least I was, but now I find myself practising lunges at home and on my skates in the park whenever I get some time!

Last week, I think the general public thought I had escaped from a mental institution somewhere as I was doing crossovers on the stairs of every building I was in - I don't have stairs at my place! Fantastic exercise off skates though, I would highly recommend it to anyone! I have also found my first fan. This poor boy is away from home and missing his local derby girls, we got chatting and he found out that I'm trying out for my local league. Ive never seen anyone so enthusiastic about derby - I had my first taste of what its all about. The fans are mental (in a good way) - its gonna be bigger than Jesus!

Anyway, this week at training it was all about skating low. I cant get down that low. Apparently my ass needs to be almost skimming the floor and then I need to fall on it and get back up within 3 seconds to avoid a penalty. Not only that, I have to do it without touching the floor with my hands! The mistress of torture - aka the coach - was having us skate around, then she would blow her whistle and we would all skate low, then we would T-Stop, then we would knee slide. I know I keep saying this, but I love Derby. I wish we could practise more than once a week. Oh, and I want to be a coach, I have so many bad-ass exercises lined up, my girls are gonna be lean, mean skating machines when I'm finished with them, but that will be another story. Gotta get through boot-camp first!

Feeling old

I am hurting in muscles I never knew I had. Im hurting in muscles I cant remember using! My left tricep hurts and my right ass cheek hurts and I groan like a granny when I sit down or stand up. My thighs hurt and I am waddling when I walk because I feel stiff but I love it. I love it because I know im skating properly. Knees bent - ass out and lead with your tits!!!!

We were practising one knee drops, sliding on both knees and 4 point slides. My league are reluctant to allow us fresh meat without proper knee pads to practise both knee slides without the right gear, which is fair enough, but I find myself feeling envious when I see my team mates gliding along on their 187's/888's and im stuck practising T-Stops!

Im getting better at skating - no falls this time! Im practising 4 point slides but I need to first slide on one knee before sliding on my hip and I need to support myself with my elbow as opposed to sliding with my arm out behind. Hence the sore tricep in one arm. I have also figured out that my right ass cheek hurts because that is my dominant leg, I use that one to push off and im using those muscles more than the left one. Im gonna end up with one thigh bigger than the other.

I love derby, I love skating even though I know its gonna hurt afterwards and I love my war wound, my bruise is just fading now and it has been over 10 days since my fall. In quite a sordid and bizarre way, im almost looking forward to my first fishnet burn!!!!

Fresh Meat

I have found my league. I have found my girls. We are in the process of creating our league at the moment, so its early days. The girls in my league are really cool, they skate great, they have cool gear. We are carving our place out in history and I am gonna be involved in that, in creating our identity. We are gonna rock!

I have just started on my long path to league-dom. There are other fresh-meat girls, all shit at skating thank god! We have had our chat with our coaches, introduced ourselves to each other and now we have had our first attempt on skates. It was awsome! Ive had to adjust to my new centre of gravity - with excess curves I didnt have when I was little. Ive discovered that my body doesnt react as well as it did pre-puberty!

Its all good though. I have discovered a sport that embraces curves. The bigger the ass, all the better to booty bump your skinny one out of the boundary! I fell so many times, but instead of being frowned upon, I was applauded for performing a spectacular spin, slide and fall on my (well-padded, thank god!) ass.

I didnt get any fish-net burn as I was wearing long shorts, but I did get my first derby bruise!

Long may it continue. Im getting better on my skates, its all coming back. I can perform T-Stops, I have been told I have good form when im skating and I can perform cross-overs. I have more confidence in my pads, but i still need new ones. The 187's are lookin real good about now. Ive discovered I sweat like a pig when I skate and I also turn a lovely shade of pink, but I dont care. I look hot, I am having serious fun, doing a sport that I love and im making new friends.

I love Roller Derby!