Pretending to be Jammer

Man I'm shite-that's the official verdict!!!!!!
I had my first attempt (in fact 5 or 6) at Jamming since I injured my knee a few months ago. I have been taking it easy - getting used to skating full contact again, building up endurance, finding my form. Last practise, I stepped up to the line, I was feeling quite brave (or so I was trying to convince myself!), the whistle went and I found myself being left behind. Everyone was faster, fitter, more agile at finding holes in the pack than I was. I felt like a complete failure. Man I was shite!
I'm not gonna sit here and wallow though, I'm gonna get back up there and skate my ass off until my form returns. I'm gonna get better and fitter and stronger and I'm going to be the one who will kick ass again.
I'm also feeling very sore and stiff after practise which is a good thing - it means I was skating hard and its a good sore feeling. It hurts to sit down and stand up - I think I pulled a muscle in my ass!
The blocking was good, I think I'm kinda falling into the pivot role. I want to be able to play in any position though. I want to be an all rounder.
Its good to be back, although a little humiliating. The girls don't make me feel like a total loser though, the support is great. Also from you guys who read my blog, the little notes of support are great. Its good to know that I inspire and keep you all entertained!

Feels like forever......

Fuck, its been a long time!!!! Good news though, I'm back!!!!! Back on my skates and I feel like a newbie again. Ive lost my confidence, my speed and my endurance. We were playing chase the pack the other week and I was skating a jam speed and Ive never felt so unstable on my skates since I first put them on as a freshie! My skating position was all to hell, my skates were wobbling all over the place and I thought I was going to fall and injure my knee all over again. It sucks to be scared of an injury!
Ive been practising my knee drops also and I can just about perform double knee slides again with confidence and Ive fallen a few times without injury - woo-hoo!!! The only thing I need to tackle again is Jamming...........
That word puts the fear of death into me, I used to love stepping up to the jammer line and taking everyone on. Now, all I feel is the lack of confidence that comes with not being fast enough or steady enough. The insecurity of not being able to fall properly when I'm blocked is a bit scary also. I really don't want to be injured again before my season gets off to a start.
I'm trying to remedy it though, squats, lunges and just skating are all helping. The girls are fantastic, always reassuring me and shouting me on - you have no idea how much that comforts you when your not feeling all that on your skates.
Ive managed to achieve a few things whilst Ive been off my skates though. I have managed to write up our official rules and our referees are coming on leaps and bounds - although they are calling me out on my chicken wings a little to much for my liking!!!!! WHERE DO YOUR LOYALTIES LIE!!!!!!
We are becoming more like a fully functioning league every training session. We have more girls who are joining up every day, soon we will have all our teams filled and then you all better watch out!! We will be coming for ya and we will be victorious in our world domination! Mwahh-ha-ha!!!